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Something something Roak is the best something something no Groff? 10/10H!

Something something Roak is the best something something no Groff? 10/10H!

ROAK POAST IS BACK! After suffering through the last two posts, the people of Onineko have spoken* and I have returned to dribble bits of my brain out onto the Internet for the joy of some and the chagrin of the rest. …but first a word from our sponsors! Do you own a Nintendo Switch? If yes then you are either me, Turtle or a filthy rotten liar. Get a Switch and buy Zelda, it’s like WoW if it were set...

Tichondrididn’t, Elistahped. 9/10H

On the back of reaping us some botanical gardens, our freshmeat (holy shit we got recruits, AND THEY ARE RANGED!?!?!) ventured further into Nighthold and poked some more bosses. Despite a rocky start on the “easy boss” AKA bridge boss – somehow we landed at Tich’s feet at like 9:30. Tich didn’t really last long, the dicks were huge and the dps was brought. huh. So that was a thing. Blowing lust on some trash before Elisande felt weird, but...

Sneaky Sunday Botanist Kills – 7/10H

Raiding is done for the week they said. Farmy times only they said. Nah fuck it. So after we smashed Normal Gul’dan’s face in to feed tier to no-one because blizzards dumb PL system doesn’t let tier tokens be traded, because of course it doesn’t. Someone suggested mid-ellisande that we do few Heroic Botanist pulls to round out the night. But we finished normal at 10:45 and breaks had to be had – so there was hesitation in peoples voices....

Passing the torch

Passing the torch

There are some people out there who might describe my news posts as arrogant, self-indulgent and egotistical. You might even think after reading one of these posts that the guy who writes this shit must have a chip on his shoulder so big, it’d taste really good if it was chocolate and baked into a cookie. Strange, confusing imagery aside, all of these people are wrong and I’m amazing (see: This post for more), but that’s not what today is about. Today...

Whose Taunt Is It Anyway?

Whose Taunt Is It Anyway?

Hello and welcome to who’s taunt is it anyway, where the strats put you to sleep and the loot doesn’t matter. That’s right just like Shadowsoon’s DPS; it just doesn’t matter. In this instalment, we talk about what it means to wipe on moderately challenging bosses and how to save a depressing raid by clutch killing an easy boss right before the end of the night on Sunday. But first, a quick shout out to myself for achieving the Keystone Master...

Fe Fi Fo Fum

Fe Fi Fo Fum

Whoop Whoop it’s news post time~! I volunteered to write a news post to kick off the new year, new boss kills and a new outlook on life. Instead, I’ve stared at a blank page hating the fact that after years of freedom, I’m back looking at the word press admin screen (though I guess it does look a little bit prettier than last time). In any case, for the seven people that will mistakenly click a link posted in Discord...

Guarm now chinese special number 5 with rice.

Guarm now chinese special number 5 with rice.

Once Tramplesoon was educated Guarm died and was promptly put into a takeaway container with soy and rice. Despite Trample education, Tramplesoon was unable to break 200k dps. Now taking applications for Shadowpriests who outdps Tanks. If you think thats you and your name isn’t Shadow or Soon or some kind of wordplay on that, apply here

Heroic Odyn Finally.

Heroic Odyn Finally.

So apparently this is what you need to do to kill this bastard. 1. Kick Dak from the raid 2. Wait for Roak to get home 3. Have CT sit his shitty Fire Mage for an Enhance Shaman. 4. Wipe ~80 times to Spears/orbs/beams/horns 5. Buy a Darkmoon Immortality card for Kupp 6. Put Ignore Pain WeakAuras on your Warriors. 7. Have Roak start a war with Peg. 8. Have CT tell Roak to be nice to Peg. 9. Have...

Scrublords vs Valor

Scrublords vs Valor

Did us some Trial of Valor. Heroic was un-tuned for scrublords; so we hit up normal. Went into Heroic after, and Odyn is quite doable now. Just need a raid composition that isn’t 80% melee! Player list top left hand side. Jobs done. Content seen. Log in and join us for farmville.

Ursoc, Renfaire: Dead. Cenarius: Broken. 6/7H

WHAT NEWS. Having kicked that scrub poster to posting curb, Onineko has surged to 6 out 7 heroic kills in the Emerald Nightmare. 3 kills in as many nights: feels good man. Ursoc, The Biggest Bear, dropped once we figured out to sit on his face and tell him we loved him. We dragged him slowly around in a circle, him giving us all a deep, reverberating growling and baiting his thrusts until he collapsed to floor, spent. No sekret...