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USELESS . FUCKING . CASUALS

With terrible people comes terrible gameplay.

Onineko
Its Japanese for something

ONINEKO

It probably means Demon Cat. No-one knows, because no-one is Japanese.
Australian PvE guild filled mainly with adults.

We're recruiting!

For BfA! Melee FOTM welcome, until they’re nerfed.

Big dick DPS

Proud Members of the Billion-High Club. 8:30pmish on Sundays AEDT. Maybe. Check back for BfA.

Edgy Content

Smash out all the heroic raids, leave guild to progress further, re-join next expansion!

Aite. Take half my abilities away, kill my class and charge me 80 bucks.

News & Junk

Gluten intolerant boss kills and shit-posts

We killed three bosses and all I got was paying Sandy a lousy thousand gold 5/8H

So it seems that apparently some people don’t like to read news posts entirely about how great Roak is. I’ll spare everyone the embarrassment and not mention any names (Captain Murray Pants and The Saj) and dedicate myself to writing about the actual raid this time instead of my previously prepared post titled “1000 Words About How Great Roak Is”. We started the raid at boss number three. The Radiance of Azshara. This guy kinda reminds me of Immerseus from...

Ez Fears Roak, Rerolls Paladin – 8/8N 2/8H

Ez Fears Roak, Rerolls Paladin – 8/8N 2/8H

Despite limited play time this tier and a clear lack of understanding of any boss mechanics, Guild Legend Roaktahl has been able to rally the guild with his charismatic charm, leading from behind the scenes to see Onineko claim the scalp of Queen Azshara in her Eternal Palace in normal difficulty, just one week after the launch of the tier. Not only that, but dipping our toes in the water (geddit??) in heroic and knocking over the first two bosses...

Battle for Daz’azalazalor proof guild can succeed without best player – 9/9H 1/9M

Friends, I’ve been carrying this guild since 2010. In Wrath, it was the likes of Cil and Trammy, names that only a handful of players will remember, that I carried to victory over Arthas and the Scourge. I kept those useless bastards alive so that we could achieve our goal and clear the tier before the end of the expansion. You see, these were the early days. Back then the jokes about how shit Onineko was, weren’t jokes, but self...

A Guild made it to Melbourne!

A Guild made it to Melbourne!

Greetings dear friends and sworn enemies and welcome to this exclusive edition of the Roak Poast – Adventures in Melbourne. In this week’s edition we discuss bad choices, unhealthy relationships and Deages: the man behind the mask, but before we get into that… Not since (maybe) 2014 has such a great number of Oninekians gathered together in the one place to share beers, bodily odours and good times! Yes friends, this past weekend some time ago PAX in Melbourne happened and...

It’s OK to be a Shaman – Mythic Mother down! 2/8M

It’s OK to be a Shaman – Mythic Mother down! 2/8M

In a move that will likely guarantee his raiding position for every subsequent Mythic Mother attempt for the remainder of the tier, resident Onineko dinosaur Shacarius, has surprised the entire guild by not being entirely as useless as previously thought. An informal poll was conducted around the Roak Poast office this afternoon of which the results found an overwhelming majority of respondents considered Shacarius to be both a disgrace and with poor personal hygeine BUT who is also “alright” at...

Onineko defeats G’huun: Roak procrastinates posting about it 8/8H

Onineko defeats G’huun: Roak procrastinates posting about it 8/8H

Greetings nerds and nerdettes! Today is a special day. It’s special because I set myself a hard deadline to write this stupid post by tonight and it’s currently 9pm and this is the only sentence I’ve got written. I tried to have a think about what was causing this creative block and I think I’ve come to a conclusion. G’huun just wasn’t that interesting. Sure I could write a few paragraphs about how much of a fucking retard Deages is...

Do they actually expect me to write something? 7/8H

Do they actually expect me to write something? 7/8H

We interrupt this weeks issue of Roakpoast for an erotic fan-fiction. “Muahahahaha!” Bellowed Zul. Weeks of not being killed by Onineko had made the dead troll zombie ghost thing cocky and overconfident. Little did he know that this time, it was different. Not Sandy “accidentally” pulling early at five seconds, that was the same. Nor Kupp running to Narnia and ranging the healers, that too was the same. Maybe it was the absence of the safety net Roak brings with...

It’s ok to give people AIDS – Vectis and Zek’voz Down 5/8H

It’s ok to give people AIDS – Vectis and Zek’voz Down 5/8H

I thought I’d take a break from slagging Group2 today as their progress (or lack of it) says more than any mean words I can think up could possibly do. Instead, I want to go back to some classic Roak posting. The kind of self-gratifying nonsensical spew that makes me feel good about myself when I write it… You know, the important things. Our story begins Thursday night. We had a tenuous lead over G2 after they defeated G’huun, knowing...

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