Shit-post

LOUD NOISES! 5/11M – REVISED EDITION

I’ve never enjoyed this fight. On both normal and heroic it’s just far too easy and far too pointless to even call it a boss fight. So when it came round to Mythic, I had pretty low expectations. I can now confidently say that I was right to have low expectations as this fight is just as stupid and shit as it is in every other difficulty. All that said, Onineko is still Onineko, and being skilled enough to knock...

“Don’t get hit by this” and other valuable nuggets of information you already knew 4/11M

“Don’t get hit by this” and other valuable nuggets of information you already knew 4/11M

I really thought I was done writing news posts way back in December when we knocked Heroic Argus down, but it seems the demand for a weekly Roak post is so strong that the entire guild has lifted their game to continue the progression train. And who am I to deny the people what they want? But before we get into this week’s Roak Review, this boss kill doesn’t belong to the entire raid team. No, there may have been...

Quitting: What does it actually mean? – A Study by Roaktahl 3/11M

Google (cause I don’t have an Oxford Dictionary handy) defines “Quit” as: quit1 kwɪt/ verb leave (a place), usually permanently. “hippies finally quit two sites in Hampshire last night” But I’d like to propose a new definition. quit2 künt/ licariusism leave (a place), usually temporarily but only after stressing how super permanent it’s gonna be this time. “Lic said he’s quitting again, I wonder how long until he’s back?” So Lic came back this week after having quit about a...

Onineko drops handicap – Defeats another boss! 2/11M

Onineko drops handicap – Defeats another boss! 2/11M

I truly did not expect to be writing two boss posts this week, but then I’d have missed out on making matching hilarious post titles and more articles makes us look more active right? Anywho, Mythic dogs! A bit like regular dogs but with an extra 176% more “fucked up”. This fight divides the raid randomly into Fire and Shadow sides, swapping once at a midway point and requiring all raiders to know how to handle both sides (unless you...

Onineko Enters Mythic – Succeeds despite Ctwin handicap! 1/11M

(Yeah he can kick me from discord… but I’ll be back.) Before we get into today’s article… stack /stak/ a pile of objects, typically one that is neatly arranged. "a stack of boxes" a chimney, especially one on a factory, or a vertical exhaust pipe on a vehicle. "the main stack belches out clouds of black smoke" a basic World of Warcraft raiding strategy where player characters stand on top of one another to mitigate mechanics. "Elesoon, Felpacket, stack up...

Out with the old, in with the new: Your new officer team!

With mythic starting next week and Onineko probably going to fail killing any new bosses for a while, I decided to stretch my creative mind and publicly roast Onineko’s new (and old!) officer team to amp everyone up for the upcoming constant and repeated wipes yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah! First up, the dudebros that got the guild this far, you’ve probably never seen them do anything because lets face it, they never did, starting in chronological order of when they became an officer...

Guild clears heroic, PUBG 1.0 releases the next day. Coincidence? Merry Xmas Onineko!

Good Afternoon Guildies and Guildettes and welcome to what may or may not be the last post of Antorus progression by yours truly, the god of healing, Roaktahl! To business first, and while we’re still not sure if you should start moving when he first casts cone of shame or when he’s finished or if you should just start moving halfway through and fuck everybody else (this is what I was doing fyi), Argus the Unmaker has been defeated in...

The GM is dead, long live the GM!

I thought this deserved it’s own post as hey, how often do we have a new Guild Master in the house? As the guy who made the awful awful mistake of promoting Ctwin to GM in the first place, and as a guy who (excluding all the people who’ve known him longer) has known Yog the longest (we in fact met in Azeroth some 12 years ago) AND as a former Onineko GM myself, I’ve declared myself the only man...

Shattered Illusions and Broken Dreams 10/11H – BROUGHT TO YOU BY FACEMASHER FLASKS!

Shattered Illusions and Broken Dreams 10/11H – BROUGHT TO YOU BY FACEMASHER FLASKS!

I’m a pretty big Warcraft fan. Not just World of Warcraft mind you, Warcraft from all the way back to the RTS games. My favourite, WCIII and its expansion The Frozen Throne, are way up there in my nostalgic childhood video game memories. Varimathras the Dreadlord…well he was a bit of a cunt, but being a Dreadlord and a Demon and all that, it’s probably not all that surprising. So when Sylvannas manipulated Varimathras into serving the Forsaken in TFT...

Early boss pulls, externals too hard to call, Turtle wins tanking award on his second day and more! 8/11H

Last night, Onineko triumphed in the face of self-imposed adversity as the guild rallied under the one person not actually in the guild to score it’s first ever win against the Coven of Shivarra! Whoop whoop! After clearing to the demon maidens in just over two hours on our second week, despite Groffrey pulling half a dozen bosses early and nearly dying. We convinced Raid Leader Yog that no, we shouldn’t learn a new boss at 10:30pm on a Thursday...