ALL THE HUMMUS IS GONE! Turtle absconds with Guild supply as Sludgefist dies 8/10

Friends, it brings me no joy as I sit here and write today’s Roak Poast. Yesterday, recently elected Guild Master and suspected terrorist sleeper agent Turtle, in place of attending the mandatory scheduled heroic raid progression, embezzled and absconded with the guild supply of hummus, leaving our falafel’s dry and tasteless. Compounding our woes, it pains me to say that not for many years have I had to write a Roak Poast where the GM of our great and powerful...

Onineko Walks the Red Carpet – Receives Pants 7/10H

Greetings and Salutations to all the grand people of Onineko and welcome to this week’s Roak Poast. In this edition, we break down all the goss, glitz and glamour from the 2021 Council of Blood first heroic kill awards show and find out who is the coveted winner of the 2021 Onineko Dance Party Award. Let’s get started! First, let’s introduce our hosts for this wonderful event: Starting from the top, the first target and looking absolutely fabulous wearing his...

Glaifing: The hit new drug killing your children! 6/10H

Greetings Fellow Oninekians and welcome to the latest Roak Poast coming to you live from my desk under threat of castration by Bob “if it’s not out by midnight…” Our top story this week. The new drug hitting the streets that is raping your children right under your noses. It’s called Glaifing, but also goes by the street names, chimping, snarking, evilteddy and hula hooping with the jamaican queen. So where are your children getting these glaifs from? His name...