Fe Fi Fo Fum

Whoop Whoop it’s news post time~!

I volunteered to write a news post to kick off the new year, new boss kills and a new outlook on life. Instead, I’ve stared at a blank page hating the fact that after years of freedom, I’m back looking at the word press admin screen (though I guess it does look a little bit prettier than last time).

In any case, for the seven people that will mistakenly click a link posted in Discord or Facebook and find themselves reading this article (unless you’re a potential recruit in which case we’re totally more active and shit – great guild!!), let me tell you how great and awesome we are!

First off, we punched Gul’dan till he died with what was mostly a ragtag group of drunk Aussies on Australia Day (and if you’ve ever tried to do anything with a drunk Australian you’ll know this was a pretty impressive feat – Australia Day or otherwise). This of course on the back of getting curb-stomped by the Bot guy for the better part of three hours but we probably shouldn’t talk about that… In any case, normal has been cleared and while I think its fair to say that nobody has any understanding of any mechanics in Nighthold, it’ll totally only matter when we get face-fucked by heroic later right (more on that later)?

So there we were, fresh as fuck from an over entitled sense of achievement from clearing the almost easiest difficulty when we headed into heroic to “dip the toe” so to speak into what will almost certainly be the cause of much pain and frustration over the next however-long-till-the-next-instance-is-released…and we did alright?

Scorp-face thing went down like a sack of poop the same night as Gul’dan, once we worked out that stacking nasty tank debuffs was a bad idea (again that whole mechanic thing…what are they? what do they mean? why do they keep killing us…?). What shocks me about this fight, or in fact every fight, is how the Nightfallen bros who literally follow you into the boss room, refuse to even auto attack with their sticks, I mean surely the whole “taking back the city” thing that they’ve been asking us to do since September is motivation enough to…I dunno, help take back your own goddamn city? Anyway, confusing unhelpful npc’s aside, here’s a picture of us in front of a dead boss (I’m the one that looks like a tree).

The week was not done yet however, as one more boss would take pity on us and just die, granting us access to their loot and of course presenting us with the opportunity to get face-fucked by future bosses. Chromatic Anomaly is the boss that we killed (or at least I hope it is, I wasn’t really paying attention to anything except green bars) and it was…disappointing. Yeah I said it, the fight is easy, easy, easy, HOLYSHITEVERYONEISDEADOMFGTHEHUMANITY, easy, dead. From what I gathered during my barely conscious attempts, he slows and speeds up time, and his various unexciting and boring mechanics change marginally when time is faster and/or slower. Cool.

So yeah, it died, we got some stuff, I learned that I’m probably not due for a 5th legendary for quite a while and that’s about it.

Oh and then Trillax told us to get down on our knees and open wide, but that’s a story for another day.

Happy News Day!

– Roak

p.s. I didn’t take any of these screenshots, direct all your screenshot hate to Yogoth, my fragile ego can’t handle any more criticism.