Onineko defeats G’huun: Roak procrastinates posting about it 8/8H

Greetings nerds and nerdettes!

Today is a special day. It’s special because I set myself a hard deadline to write this stupid post by tonight and it’s currently 9pm and this is the only sentence I’ve got written. I tried to have a think about what was causing this creative block and I think I’ve come to a conclusion.

G’huun just wasn’t that interesting.

Sure I could write a few paragraphs about how much of a fucking retard Deages is for needing to repair mid-fight (All Hail Combat Jeeves!), but I’m pretty confident I’ve already established in my BfA series of posts that Deages is a fucking retard. Does needing a combat repair make him more of a fucking retard? Of course it does. Will he be living this down for the foreseeable future? Absolutely. Will I make an effort to remind him of this pretty hilarious mistake? Definitely. So should I write an entire paragraph on what a muppet Deages is?  No, I’m above that kind of low-brow humour.

I could also write a great story about the back half of the room and how they never received a single heal from Lic. I could write about what a terrible healer he is, how he always double stacks his cooldowns and thats you’re more likely to get a holy word from a Ret Paladin than a be a lucky target of Chain Heal. I could do all that, but Lic already knows what a useless twat he is, and the rest of the guild, if they didn’t know about it before, well they certainly do now. So should I put Lic down while elevating myself as the best healer in Onineko? No way, you all already know my magnificence and shitting all over Lic is something I only do on days ending in ‘Y’.

And of course, the big one. I write a mother fuckin’ essay on Groff’s absence, I could include clever puns and witty Roak-isms about how we were only able to succeed due to his absence. Well, it’s said that a picture says a thousand words. This one says 1006.

If I can be serious for just one very brief moment, G’huun may be an unexciting and uninteresting boss, but the level of coordination to get it down is among the highest I’ve experienced in my extremely long time of playing this game. To smash it on our 2nd full night of giving it a go is a testament to the ability of the guild (Deages, Lic and Groff excluded). This is a boss fight that required both our individual raid teams to merge in order to get it down. At the time of death, less than 6% of level 120’s had killed this boss, which if you think about how many millions of people play, is a pretty awesome effort. So well done to everyone who was present, a massive thanks to those who agreed to sit and a big fuck you to Uldir! Onwards to Mythic!

– Roak