Controversy as Turtle’s Tenacious Troupe take the lead

September 6, 2018 Roak

Greetings Onineko and welcome to the guilds first and only unbiased news source, delivered straight to your internets for easy consumption. I am the editor Roaktahl, ready to tackle the tough issues facing the guild, speaking as the voice of the people.

Our first (and only) story today – Touted as the greatest grudge match the guild has seen since Onineko vs Peggysui 2016, the raid team race ended in controversy as the Blizzard servers shut down mid-raid, causing both teams to lose momentum, in the race for guild number one.

Group 2 (aka Derpy Deages’ Dingbats) were first on the board for the night, obviously not stuck listening to Turtle talk about holy wars and Jihad or whatever, they knocked over whatever the first boss’ name was in quick time, taking an important lead as both teams vied for ultimate supremacy. That however, would be the only time DDD would be in front… Fed up with listening to stories about beheading infidels or something, an unnamed player pulled the second boss and TTT rallied to tackle the fight, ultimately defeating Mother in a convincing battle.

Full of confidence, and out in front, TTT surged through the next two bosses – some blood guy and – I’m genuinely not even sure what the other guy did – to end on 4/8 with ~15 minutes till the halftime (maintenance) buzzer. A channel up, DDD were racing the clock to defeat the blood boss in time, narrowly securing victory with but a minute to spare. The scores were locked up at four a piece, despite the differing routes the two teams took, but it was after maintenance that would separate the champions from the rest.

With the servers back up and the raids reformed at a precarious 10:30pm, the race resumed, each team looking to take whatever advantages they could to seal victory. TTT headed to weird patrolling dinosaur boss, while DDD did something else, I dunno, I wasn’t in that raid group.

By 11, both teams had knocked off the 5th boss and with the scores tied, it was going to take a special effort for one group to push ahead. Perhaps it was the desire to just be better, or perhaps some vain effort to make up for Blizzard ruining our race with a stupid shutdown, but TTT surged like never before in it’s one-day existence, pushing an extra 20 minutes past the 11pm buzzer to re-kill Zul again and win the day with a final score of 6/8. DDD finishing the night on 5/8.

Some have been heard to cry foul of TTT’s tactics, to them I say: “Na na na na na na ha ha ha ha ha ha”