A Guild made it to Melbourne!

Greetings dear friends and sworn enemies and welcome to this exclusive edition of the Roak Poast – Adventures in Melbourne.

In this week’s edition we discuss bad choices, unhealthy relationships and Deages: the man behind the mask, but before we get into that… Not since (maybe) 2014 has such a great number of Oninekians gathered together in the one place to share beers, bodily odours and good times! Yes friends, this past weekend some time ago PAX in Melbourne happened and a large number of Japanese demon cat people made the journey down (or up if you’re from Tasmania) to Melbourne city to sit in a hall and play boardgames while largely ignoring any other reason for being in the city or at the convention. There was one other special reason we gathered together, evCn if only a small number knew it at the time, but, everyone’s favourite rogue, Anghelz had his birthday on Sunday and became Onineko’s official oldest current serving member at the ripe old age of 214. Ang has been with Oni since Mists of Pandaria and while isn’t the oldest member we’ve ever had (Peggysui still holds that crown at 297 years of age.), it’s still pretty funny to call him Gramps so I encourage all of you to do so.

The event began probably on time at 7:30pm as stated, I however wouldn’t know as I was being fashionably late having drinks at the distillery down the road. So in reality, the event actually started at whatever time Roak brought the party. I came along with my dear wife Wendy, Melbourne local and sometimes WoW player Sam “Ogree” and the man of the hour, walking all by himself without a zimmer frame – Anghelz. The venue was a simple brewery, the beers almost good enough to make you forget about the pungent smell of horse shit out the back and the food… actually pretty good. Our group had occupied about three of the largest tables (and that’s not a fat joke) and were merrily eating and drinking the night away.

Rather than attempt a play by play recount of the entire evening. I thought I’d break it down into some of the more memorable moments.

Ruki loves to squat

Ruki, the second greatest healer to have ever worn the Onineko colours has a bizarre fixation with squatting while fat Oninekians rest on her back. As someone who both witnessed others, and participated as said fat person, that girl can really squat. Many others attempted to match Ruki and her squatting ability (henceforth referred to as squatability) but none were able to challenge the the #2 healer to her title and henceforth Ruki shall forever be known as the Queen of Squats.

Calt is a good bloke

I’ve been in this guild a long time as anyone who’s been here for a short time will attest to having heard me say multiple times. But never in my long history watching the revolving door that is Onineko, has anyone come up to me and asked me if I was for real. Calt had the balls to do that. Calt also said he likes my posts. Calt is a good bloke. Be like Calt.

Turtle was a huge disappointment

I don’t know how many kilometres I travelled, probably like a billion that’s how far away Melbourne is, and this bastard didn’t even show up! I won’t be too hard on Turtle cause I know there was a legitimate reason for his absence, but fuck you man, I flew all the way to your country for nothing. You’re dead to me.

Deages was exactly how I expected him to be

There’s really nothing else to add here.

Red is definitely gay

Stop being homophobic Ang.

Kupp’s isn’t just a pretty face