They can take our Red, but they’ll never take first place! Fetid Devourer down 3/8H

In a move that can only be considered sneaky and underhanded, Team Dastardly and Devious Deages Yeast (DADDY) made a shock move late Wednesday night when they announced that everybody’s favourite bearded bridge marrying gay homosexual ginger, Red, would be raiding with DADDY this week. An inside source and self-proclaimed “high ranking” member of DADDY, who requested to remain anonymous, and will hitherto be referred to as Lawsoon Elekov explained that poaching players from Turtle’s Titantic Titanium Titans (TTTT) was a direct result of deeper issues that are presently facing DADDY.

“Yeah my DADDY problems mostly stem from DADDY’s inability to keep going for more than fifteen minutes at a time.” he told the Roakpoast.

“But really the worst part is how dirty I feel inside after we finish…”

When questioned further, Lawsoon revealed the foundations of a far more sinister plot that DADDY has in mind.

“Taking Red was phase one, phase two is taking all the other good players out of TTTT and putting them inside DADDY, I tried to tell them that DADDY wouldn’t be able to fit that much in but they just refused to listen to me.”

That isn’t all that’s facing DADDY this week, with recent allegations that DADDY’s entire upper echelon might be part of something even more bizarre.

“Saj and Deages are definitely doing it.” Our source, Lawsoon said.

“You don’t need 150 Zandalari cooking to know that isn’t Feast icing on Saj’s face.”

This of course supports an entirely different rumour that suggests DADDY is just a cover for an online Erotic Role Play (ERP) orgy club that pretends to play World of Warcraft, while really just raiding each others pants.

“Those allegations are unfounded.” Lawsoon said. “Yeah I’ve been to a couple of LARP’s in my day and yes I’ve spent many a night fantasising about Mx /kneel’ing in front of me while I /moan, but those are my private thoughts and I don’t want to talk about them.”

Saj and Deages are definitely doing it.

Onineko, a guild that has, historically, always had issues with running multiple raid teams has, so far succeeded in keeping both teams happy and functioning, but for the more perceptive, the cracks are beginning to show. Yogoth our GM, who’s presently in the US and can’t dispute any of this, had this to say “Garn get fucked ya stupid paparazzi fuckwits!”. Meanwhile, closer to home, the rest of the guild is bracing for the imminent impact from this apparent bombshell.

We at the Roakpoast contacted a spokesperson for TTTT but all they wanted to do was talk about how they killed a new boss, Fetid Devourer and that they are now 3/8H

More, as it develops.

-Roak