Onineko drops handicap – Defeats another boss! 2/11M

I truly did not expect to be writing two boss posts this week, but then I’d have missed out on making matching hilarious post titles and more articles makes us look more active right?

Anywho, Mythic dogs! A bit like regular dogs but with an extra 176% more “fucked up”. This fight divides the raid randomly into Fire and Shadow sides, swapping once at a midway point and requiring all raiders to know how to handle both sides (unless you just get fire every time *cough Saj *cough*). Thankfully we had Neuro and Rip’s friend in from the beginning to poke holes in our strategy and show us how the pro’s did it and although our kill was far from how the pro’s do it, it still counts right?

On that subject, I was disturbed at all these newbie Onineko scrubs touting how our kill was “classic Onineko” – listen here you little whippersnappers, a classic Onineko kill is so much more than just farting our way through a kill fifteen minutes after Kupp dies (though that is one condition).

I have decided to take it upon myself to educate this new generation of scrublords on what it truly means to be Onineko.

Lesson one – the classic Onineko kill:

1. Take the best raid team possible (see also take the shittiest raid team available).
2. Have more than one but less than three shit lords who can't do the simplest raid mechanics.
3. An hour in, successfully explain the mechanic you've been trying to teach since the start.
4. Get a 1% wipe.
5. Revert to wiping at higher percentages.
6. Have one final pull at 11:27pm.
7. Call the raid.
8. Get overruled and have the first official attempt after the last attempt.
9. Have a tank die during this final attempt.
10. Pull a victory out of our collective asshole.

Given we killed the boss early and even got to finish up the raid early – the dogs kill does NOT qualify as classic Onineko.

Switching back to the fight itself, I’d be doing a great disservice if I didn’t mention the exceptional job done by Turtle & Facey (backed up by Yog – was there someone else?) on the raid calls for fire side. Discounting a handful of fuckup wipes, the calls were spot on and in this humble (lol) healers opinion, the kill came off the back of those great calls.

We now look ahead to the Antoran High Council, which if heroic is any indication, will be absolutely fucked.

^{(Vindi photobombed all my screenshots…)}

Saj beat me on heals so this fight is only worth 6/7 Roaks

– Roak