LOUD NOISES! 5/11M – REVISED EDITION

I’ve never enjoyed this fight. On both normal and heroic it’s just far too easy and far too pointless to even call it a boss fight. So when it came round to Mythic, I had pretty low expectations. I can now confidently say that I was right to have low expectations as this fight is just as stupid and shit as it is in every other difficulty.

All that said, Onineko is still Onineko, and being skilled enough to knock off two new Mythic bosses in one week is something that should be well beyond the skills of people such as…Oh I don’t know…Elesoon for example. Still, we returned to Antorus this past Sunday, defying all odds, as we put on our best anime impressions, collectively screaming out as loud as we all could, until the Eonar encounter finally submitted, proving once again, that yelling loudly into the internet can solve all of life’s problems.

But I’ve come to realise something about this fight. My first impression was that this fight was meant to loosely model a tower defence type of encounter, but with players instead of towers. Taking the analogy further, if this is a tower defence fight, who’s controlling the towers? Then it hit me. It’s Turtle! Using his big boy raid leading voice, Turtle has been using us like nothing more than lowly pawns, ordering each group to go off and kill things while he sits upon his throne eating hot pockets.

^{(Artist rendition of Turtle)}

So next time we’re doing this fight, remember to not be a slave to the whims of a fat guy wog on the internet. Stand with me and rebel! I’m sure the fight will go much smoother if everyone does their own thing.

potato/7 Roaks

–update–

So due to popular demand (Monsoon whines a whole lot) I decided to add a few extra paragraphs to this article that sum up some thoughts I’ve had recently… *ehem*

Anyone who’s spoken to me for more than thirty seconds may have heard me mention that I am Onineko’s greatest and most decorated raid leader with a career spanning five years (an eternity in WoW). So I like to think I know a thing or two about the job, but it doesn’t take the greatest raid leader of all time to pick up on the work Turtle did this past Sunday. Now I’m not really in the business of praising people, and being honest, my default interactions with Turtle are almost always abusive (but that’s only because he’s a filthy wog cunt and I hate him), but I could hear the gears turning in his head from all the way in Sydney after each and every wipe this past Sunday. Whether it was a report from Kupp that he needed more bros up top, or a note from Serth that a certain point in the fight had a bunch of high priority targets that needed to be focused, or even Lumi telling everyone to STFU because there were too many conflicting voices, Turtle learned and adapted every time, and like a kid with a box of Lego, he built up the strategy piece by piece that would lead us to victory.

This might seem easy, but take it from me that it’s not. Learning a fight, memorising timers and coordinating a team full of idiots is the single greatest challenge this game has to offer and while it may have taken Turtle a little bit longer that it would’ve taken me to lead the team to the kill, he’s new so we shouldn’t hold it against him. Turtle, you’re still a filthy wog cunt, but you’re our filthy wog cunt, and having you at the helm of this raid, calling calls and strategising strategies is, in this humble (lol) Druid’s opinion, the main reason we’ve seen so much success to date.

Eonar may have been a team effort, but you led us there, the fight belongs to you. It better not be our last together 🙂

Cheers!

– Roak